As you may know from reading my book, The Body of Chris: A Memoir of Obsession, Addiction, and Madness, I've found a great deal of healing from Buddhist psychology. I would even go as far as to say that Buddhism taught me more about the life of Jesus than all my years of Sunday school growing up! So when I got the chance to write something for Lion's Roar, a prominent online and print magazine for Western Buddhism, I jumped at the opportunity.
"I was an eighteen-year-old freshman, one month into a summer semester at the University of Georgia. I wanted to get to school early, mostly because I was sick of getting grounded for my drinking. For years I had told myself that I would drink more moderately if my parents weren’t so strict. But after a month of independence, the truth of my budding alcoholism was obvious.
I’d been feeling depressed. But, walking home after partying until sunrise, I suddenly felt an extraordinary bliss overtake my being. My movement felt light and effortless. The summer sun engulfed me like a warm bath. I noticed how alive everything looked—the flowers, the grass, the air through the trees. I could feel the earth breathing. If there was ever an experience of unmitigated oneness, this was it.
Had I somehow stumbled into Nirvana? Even my own name seemed foreign when a friend called out to me. This life is not real, I thought. I am not real. This is what God must feel like. I must be Jesus!"